Embrace Simplicity: Abe's Birth story 9.14.2013

One Year. A year of so many smiles, tears, hugs, laughs, prayers, FIRSTS.
My life is overflowing with such love and blessings.

I loved Abe from the very beginning. Such a bond built from the start. Every kick and every hiccup.
As many of you may know-- I had a hard pregnancy.. Morning sickness 15 weeks in. Kidney stones. Excessive water retention. Gained 70 lbs. Yep I said 70.

This was my feet around 36 week pregnant. Outta Control.

When I was a little girl -- 1st grade - to be exact, our teacher had us write "What I want to be when I grow up" . Naturally most of my classmates said "a Doctor", "a Veterinarian", "a Teacher".. etc.
I wrote "a Mom"
A Mom.

14 years later, I am expecting a baby with The man of my dreams.
Overwhelming amounts of emotions. Excitement. Fear. Joy. Worry.

Will I be a good mother?

I was asked a (very dumb) question multiple times by different people...
"Was this planned?"
Was what planned? My pregnancy? Our son? Our child?
Well... Yes. God planned for us to have Abe before Ben and I even met. Before I knew I wanted to even be a mother. He knew. Abe was most certainly planned.

(Last Photo of Pregnant Belly)

Our due date was September 8th 2013.

I had been out of work since August 12th and I was, anxious, hot, tired, miserable-- I was over it.. I was ready to see and hold my baby boy-- I could not wait for September 8th. The date replaying in my head for months... I remember moms telling me "take advantage of this time for sleep, or cleaning, or 'myself'." And sorry ladies, but to this day I think that is all just.... Crap. I was READY.

My mom and dad (and Olivia) drove up from North Carolina the week before my due date..

(Can you guys just move back already??!)

(My Dad and Ben on our Due Date… The wait begins.)

That was a long week. Full of preparation, prayers, and food of course. (Foot rubs too).

(That dent is showing how swollen my legs were.. this was after a foot rub from Mom)

September 10th -- I had been dilated to a 2 for a week around our due date. And I stayed at a 2. I went in to see our midwife this day and told her I wanted to go into labor.

(September 10th- last midwife appointment.. SO READY)

She said "walk" among other things. I prayed hard. I drank anise tea.

I walked (as much as possible). I took hot baths. I bounced. I did everything in the book. All of it-- I felt like nothing was going to help. I was drained.. tired.. exhausted really.. emotional doesn't begin to describe.

September 11th -- I took a bath around 11pm.. Had mild contractions, watched a movie with my Mom and Dad (Ben was at work on Night Shift).. Decided to head to bed and bam .. Contractions every 5-8 minutes or so. I waited until they lasted a few hours to call in to Triage.. The nurse line said I could come if I wanted to and they would check dilation. I waited for a few hours.. Ben and I went in around 5am. I was still a 2! Are you kidding me?? Tears-- hormones-- emotions. All of it.

Went home.. Tried to nap- no such luck, contractions stopped but still no sleep.

September 12th -- Contractions begin again around 11pm.. On and off nothing consistent until around 4am- this time I brought my mom to the hospital. I let Ben sleep because I knew one of us was going to need it. Still a 2. A 2!!? So frustrated.. A lot of pain. I couldn't believe they would not admit me.

September 13th -- Went home and contracted all day. Walking back and forth, back and forth. What would I have done without my mother? There for every contraction, every scream. Ben and my dad sat downstairs.. Best place for my guys-- As I yelled and hollered upstairs for hours. Cable guy came that day... I'm pretty sure I scared him off by screaming

"I'm in LABOR- I don't give a (crap) about the TV"

We waited until my contractions were only a minute apart for over an hour. That quite possibly was the longest hour I may have ever endured. 4pm we head to triage. Midwife checks-- I am dilated to a 4! Tears roll-- everywhere. Finally I am admitted -- I looked at Ben and said "we are having our baby tonight!" (Friday the 13th)

{{To be honest I was relieved, but secretly hoped that Abe would arrive any time after 12am on The 14th.}}

We check in to our room, I get a shot of pain medication and we fill up the big bath tub. I think I sat in there about an hour. Each contraction I had, Ben was there to hold my hand and to tell me to "keep breathing"-- this man. He is something amazing. He survived my pregnancy (with such grace).... Which was not always easy.

And he STILL LOVED me -- possibly more I think. He is the man of my dreams. Truly.

A couple hours passed and our midwife asked if I wanted an epidural. I planned throughout my whole pregnancy to opt out of the epidural.. As natural as possible. But... At this point I was about 48+ hours in with no sleep, no rest.. I said I needed to think about it.

Meanwhile .. I had a couple Popsicles. I bounced on the birthing ball, I did some strange labor positions.. Had another shot of pain medicine and spoke strangely and lucidly to Ben.

(I remember him laughing)-- I was laughing too.

I decided that the epidural was the best option for me at this point.

September 14th -- They came in to do the epidural, it went great, I was numb enough to block out severe pain but I was still able to move my own legs which I actually was very pleased about. An hour or so later, our midwife on call (Candy) came in to check me again- only a 5. She suggested a pit drop. (Pitocin is generally used to induce or speed up labor process) I was very against the pitocin throughout my pregnancy and even that evening. Eventually I agreed to have a small amount of it in my IV.. And it helped speed up the process. Around 1am I was dialated to about a 7. I tried to rest but sleep was not in view. Ben and my mom were sleeping in the room with me..

Around 4:45am I paged in the nurse and told her I felt cold-- and it wasn't that my temperature was very cold.. I was shivering though. She said OH.. Baby shivers. (That's a thing I guess) . I said I felt like it was time. Candy came in to check me again-- I was fully dilated, 100% effaced.

We woke up Ben and my mom and said "it's time"..

As I write that - tears. Raw emotions. The memory of the moments before Abe was born. Unreal. Cannot describe the feeling.

I stared pushing around 5am. Around 5:35am I said "I'm done" I couldn't push anymore.. Exhausted from days of labor, I thought "I can't". Ben said-- you have to push--- you can do this. PUSH!

5:41am Abram is born. He breathes his first breath.

He is here. He is ours. He is beautiful. He is everything and more.

9lbs 6oz 21 1/4". Perfection.

I held him and felt my heart jump out of my chest.

I feel as if I have waited my life for you. To be your momma. To hold you. To kiss you. To love you.

You are the most precious gift in all the world, Abe J.

Happy First Birthday to our little boy. No matter how big, tall, old, smart, or wild you are-- you will always be our baby. We love you so much and cannot wait to grow with you daily.

Rushing less, playing more.

Planning less, embracing more.

Worrying less, loving YOU more.. Everyday.